


Alien Zombie Ice Cream

by Elektra Pendragon (elekdragon)



Category: Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-18
Updated: 2006-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elekdragon/pseuds/Elektra%20Pendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small peek at security life had the zombie invasion never happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alien Zombie Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> Stems from a conversation with Charles about what would have happened to the Security OT3 had things stayed normal.

Bart hadn't been too happy when he was fired, but then CJ hadn't too delicate in getting rid of him, either. There were a few things a security guard couldn't do, and that included jerking off in the lingerie after hours.

Still, it was a surprise to see him back in the mall, several months later. CJ, Terry, and Ben were just coming on duty, slipping through the mall in their uniforms for a quick look around as things closed down and the previous shift clocked off.

Ben had spotted him first. He'd always been a bit more friendly with Bart. "Hey, man, where you been?" he said loudly as he crossed the food court to what looked like an empty kiosk. CJ and Terry followed him carefully. Ben simply vaulted over the serving counter and reached down to drag a scowling Bart up by his collar.

"Bart?" Terry nearly squeaked. He'd been the one watching the cameras when CJ had looked over his shoulder to see Bart getting up close and personal with a lacy bra. The younger boy instantly blushed all over.

"Yeah, it's me. Fuck you guys. I'm just trying to make a living since you kicked my ass out," he spat out defensively.

CJ smiled slowly. "Working at an ice cream stand?"

"Not like I could do more guard work now."

Ben let him go, turning his attention to the vats of cold stuff in the freezer case. "Well, you see, CJ, this is a step up from your regular ice cream stand," he teased Bart. "This here is the ice cream of the future!"

"Shut up," Bart said, rolling his eyes and looking like he was trying to glare them all away.

"Yeah, I've seen these popping up all over town. They're like Starbucks. What is that stuff, anyway?"

Ben opened the case, ignoring Bart's shout of protest. He brought up a scoop of frosty pellets. "I think it's ice cream... or rainbow rabbit turds."

"It's Dippin' Dots, asshole." Bart smacked the scoop out of his hand. "Now, if you guys are done, I'd like to close up and go home now. Before you lock me in."

Ben wrapped his arm around the back of Bart's neck. "C'mon, now. We're all friends here. Or we used to be. Why don't you let us have a free taste of the future, for old time's sake?"

"We might even let you check out Victoria's Secret before we close."

"Fuck you," Bart directed to CJ. But knowing that they wouldn't leave until they'd had their fill of teasing him, Bart started scooping up a few small bowls of the pellets. They were pale pink and brown and white, and they sounded like rocks against the plastic. He passed them the cups, spilling some over the sides with the force of it.

Ben stuck his tongue into the bowl and came up with a tongue covered in small pastel pellets of doom. "OWFUCK!" The bowl scattered across the floor as he tried to carefully pry them off his tongue. "What the hell is this shit? Dry ice? Give me some water or something, asshole!"

CJ sniffed at his bowl, but elected to use a spoon. They were frosted over from the humid air of the mall. He carefully blew on them like hot soup before taking a small taste. He grimaced a little and then swallowed. "Yeah, rabbit turds."

Terry was halfway through his bowl already. "I dunno. It's pretty good. Like popcorn."

Ben was still dancing around, waving at his tongue and glaring at the laughing Bart. CJ tossed his into the nearby garbage and dragged Ben back over the side of the kiosk. "All right, jackasses, we better get back to work."

Bart flipped them off as they left, but Ben waved something of an obscene gesture back at him before returning to complaining about his tongue.

"You shouldn't have been a dumbass and stuck your tongue in there."

"They should have a warning on the cups. I could sue!"

"You'd lose. I told you, they're all over the place. Soon they'll take over the town. It's like zombies or something. Alien invasion."

"I for one welcome our new alien overlords and their delicious zombie ice cream," Terry said, licking his spoon.

CJ slapped him across the back of his head. "Dumbass."


End file.
